Is the “Golden Rule” Alive and Well?

First, thank you for your patience with me and Pass the Umbrella. I’ve been under the weather for a couple weeks and boy, it was nasty. Much better now!

You all remember the movie “Mean Girls” right? It’s about a teenage girl, Cady, that moves to a new town and befriends a couple of kids that are in the “out crowd” group. They all get along great, until the popular girls try to “recruit” her into their group or the “mean girl” group. At the urging of her “out crowd” friends she joins the “plastic” girls to find out their deep dark secrets. Unfortunately, Cady becomes one of them and her friendships with her “out crowd” friends diminish. The movie does have a happy ending with Cady seeing how terrible she treated people and getting back to her nice girl roots. The “mean girl” group breaks up but the “mean girl” leader recruits others to follow her.

Mean Girls
Lindsay Lohan (Actor), Rachel McAdams (Actor), Mark S. Waters (Director), Mark Waters (Director)  Rated:  PG-13 
 Format: DVD

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Once a “mean girl” always a “mean girl” or should I say person. I think not. I’m sure we all grew up knowing that group of girls or guys that thought they were all that. And I’m sure some of those people in those groups still think they are all that. But most of those people grew up, and changed for the better. Right?

We all leave that school drama behind us and move on or so we think it’s behind us. But as adults it happens at work, at your kid’s school or sporting events. There’s that group again – that group who think they know all and control all. Ugh! This isn’t supposed to happen – we’re adults! But it is happening.

Recently, I was talking with a friend who has been in her job for a couple years and has known several of women she works with for 10+ years. She’s a very sweet person who always sees the best in everyone, and never has any bad words to say about anyone. She told me how a couple of her “work” friends were talking about going to a baby shower for one of the ladies at work (one she’s known from over 10 years). They openly talked about the fun they would have and the gifts they bought as she sat there listening, all the while knowing she hadn’t been invited. You see, she’s not in that clique of women at her job. There’s probably 4 or 5 women that basically decide who attends the after hours company social outings and if you’re not in their little group you aren’t invited. And unfortunately this is what happened to her – even though she’s known this pregnant women for years, she’s not in the “in” group, the little clique and she wasn’t included. She was very hurt to be treated like this. But I must admit I’m glad she hasn’t been pulled into this group of women because they really need to take a good look at themselves and ask – is the way I treat people, the way I want to be treated? Maybe then they’d see how they’re treating others outside their clique.

Back in the day, when my kiddos where in elementary, middle and high school and in sports the parent group/cliques were the worst. You had the PTA parent group, girl scout/boy scout parent clique, you had your neighborhood clique, your sport team group, your bunco mom group and I’m sure I’m missing several others. I can remember one of the sport teams we were involved in, had probably 3 or 4 different cliques of parents on it – the kiss the coach’s ass group, the we don’t like the parent’s that kiss the coach’s ass group, the winning doesn’t matter, everyone needs to play group and the rest of the parents group. It was quite interesting – we were all in one of those groups like it or not and there were some major clashes between group at times. Fortunately once we all noticed it was affecting the boy’s play and their relationships with each other, the group pretty much dissolved. Well, almost there were some hold outs in the kiss the coach’s ass clique!

The whole point of writing about “mean” girls/guys/people is to bring awareness to those who may not realize they are hurting others by their actions. I’m not saying every one needs to be best buddies, but it’s my opinion that we all need to be aware of how we treat others. It all goes back to the Golden Rule – “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

Rah Rah Black Sheep

 Is being called the “Black Sheep” a bad thing?  

According to

Black Sheep – noun

a person who causes shame or embarrassment because of deviation from the accepted standards of his or her group.

Or the Urban Dictionary

black sheep . a term used to describe someone who feels left out in a family. Basically, the outcast of the family because they choose to do other things than live up to their parents’ standards.

Yes, the dictionary’s definition has negative connotations but let’s rethink this.

I must admit there are times in my life where I have felt like the “black sheep” whether it be in my family, at work or even with a group of friends.

Like when…

…I was 13 and my dad passed away, …I married at 18 and started a family,…I went thru a divorce, …I moved away from the family 20 years ago,…I couldn’t help out  a family member financially, … I’m overlooked at my job, …I’m not included in an outing or conversation with friends.

Does it or did it hurt to be ousted, to be left out? Yes!

Were some of the situations out of my control? Yes!

Have I since talked it out and put them behind me? Yes!

Was I really a “black sheep” as defined above? No!

I put that label on myself as did others. Maybe some people continue to consider me the “odd” one, the “troublemaker”, the “different” one of the family or group. Who knows?  All I know is that in those few situations I mentioned above, the people that I really care about and those who truly care about me have talked out whatever differences we had and in mine and their eyes they see I’m not the defined “black sheep”.

In my mind, a “black sheep” is not what is defined in the dictionary.  

My “Black Sheep” definition is…
a person who stands out and stands up for who they are and what that believe in, no matter what others may think.  A leader!

So go ahead and think of me as the “black sheep”! I will wear that title proudly.

Rah Rah Black Sheep!

Happy International Women’s Day

Pass the Umbrella is happy to celebrate and support International Women’s Day. In the United States, the Women’s day movement was first organized in 1908 but became an annual movement in 1910. In 1975 the United Nations adopted March 8th as International Women’s Day. This year’s theme is #BalanceforBetter – let’s all work to make this world gender balanced and a better world in general.

Please share my umbrella in support. Let’s Pass the Umbrella around the world. Simply share and tag your friends in any city, state and country and add where you’re sharing from.

My Journey Begins…

Well here I go, a first in my life, actually publishing my thoughts, ideas, basically whatever is on my mind. Scary but exciting.

To be honest, I heard the phrase “Pass the Umbrella” recently on a reality show – yes I know CRAZY but since I heard it I couldn’t stop thinking of what “Pass the Umbrella” meant to me. The phrase really took over my thoughts.  How could I “Pass the Umbrella”, how could I make a difference?  If I can help just one person  by passing on an idea, an inspiration, anything, how awesome would that be?

Watch for my first “Pass”

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